Wow, there's still 16 games left...

Ok, so here's the thing with That Guy and me. We tend to balance each other out, Even Steven, if you will. Last week I'm down on the Phils. They choked, they suck, blah... This week it seems that he's given up. And to even things up, I have to be looking ahead and seeing good things. Myers threw 7 solid innings last night. He only walked 1 batter-- in essence he was the same pitcher that he's been since the all-star break (aka his return from demotion to the minors).



I didn't see the game, so I don't know. However, I feel he did his job. The batters only left 3 men on base. The problem with that, is that they just didn't hit.



But that's enough about the past. This series is big. Let me state it for the millionth time. I hate the wild card! With a sweep, the Phillies can be tied for the wild card. That's three straight wins. It's something that can be done. They're 5 games better then they were at this point last year. They have a chance. I guess you can say I have hope. (And unlike a certain presidential candidate-- I don't see that as audacious at all.) Afterall, they're the fightins.

This Is Not Just a Post About How Sucky the Phillies Are!

Ok, That Guy hasn't updated himself on this hallowed page in quite a while. In fact, if you check, the last update might have been before That Guy got a new job (however, sad that job is). But anyway, I had no intention of making this post about how bad the Phillies are. In fact, after the past few days, I have given up complete hope about them Bums. But, there is just something burning deep. Maybe it's because they have been there all season. Maybe it's because they have a core team of players that had the potential to produce three MVP's in a row. Not that that is going to happen now, but it was possible. Or maybe it was just me being completely stupid like I am every year.

All I am going to say is, that despite 3rd, 4th and possibly even 5th chances... and just when you thought he was going to bring himself back from the depths of his narcisistic, wife-beating, bull crap. Then when you need him the most... he goes and blows up. Well, thanks a lot!

Dropping like flies...

So, as most of you probably have figured out, I have a full-time job. I can't explain it here. That's not because I shouldn't, but literally can't-- it'd be too confusing, you'd all have questions and the next thing I know, I'm talking about what I do for a living and not talking about life's greatest mysteries-- did God cause the big bang? Are there more living creatures in the universe? Why do I have to wait until late January for LOST to start season 5? You know, all that important stuff.

Anyway, back to why I'm writing. This week, 3 people have left my company. Some might say, oh, that's not that bad. We're (that's the were conjunction and not the are conjunction) a company of 21, so 3 is 1/7th of the work force. Wachovia just cut about 1/7th of their workforce and it's a national story. Okay, I made that Wachovia statistic up-- sue me. You may be asking yourself-- and if you aren't, I probably don't care--who is leaving the company I work for? Well, first there's the person in charge of, we'll call it, writing. The second to leave was someone in business development, and the third, nobody that important, just the CFO.

Never a good thing when it's the CFO. Although, I'm told he's not jumping ship-- he apparently had a visit from Marlon Brando. I'm happy for him, really am. What really pisses me off-- all this means is I keep getting more work to do. And what really pisses me off about that (and it should piss you off too) is that I have less free time, which means I'm busier than I should be, and you are the ones that are really missing out. You get less of this! Less of me bitching, and I know that's what you want.

Now Joining Us Live From...

Apparently, I can update the blog from my cell phone. It's like a live remote. Now that's something....

Letters, lots and lots of letters!

So, how do you really know it's the holiday season? It's not the tons of money flying out of your wallet or the Hard Rock Station that's now featuring Barry Manilow and Perry Cuomo. You really know it's the holiday season because your mailbox (the real one not that e-thing everyone is talking about these days) is stuffed with Christmas cards and Christmas letters (I will use Christmas because I simply don't know very many people who are celebrating the Festival of Lights and the ones I do know don't send me a letter.)

We've averaged about 4 cards per day in the past week, and almost all of them have a nicely written one page letter inside of them that updates us on what has happened in the last year. It got me thinking--maybe I should write a Christmas letter. Ok, so what would I put in our letter? In February we got a cat! Oh, and a niece (but maybe I should let the brother tell that one since my letter will go mostly to the same people as his would). Ok, then in August we traveled to a mid-western state to celebrate Mrs. This Guy's grandmother's 90th birthday. Mrs. This Guy and I celebrated our first anniversary (with a take home meal from Outback Steak House because Mrs. This Guy had taken ill.) Um...then what happened? In December we got new siding on our house!

There it is. Man, it would be tough to fill out a full page with that year. That's kind of depressing. Our entire year would consist of not even an entire blog post. We had fun though. Oh, and the cat doesn't let us sleep through the night (even my niece does that).

'Tis the Season

Now that Thanksgiving is officially over (read This Guy's back at work), it's time to start getting ready for Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Speaking of Christmas, guess what Mrs. This Guy did the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, you are correct, she braved the crowds on bLACK fRIDAY and did damn near all some Christmas shopping. Now, it's not as crazy as it sounds-- this is a tradition that she enjoys with her sister. What is as crazy as it sounds is the fact that she started at...wait for it... 4 am. Yeah, you read that correctly. I know people who don't go to bed until that time.

To give her and her sister some credit, they were able to hit 4 stores in 4 hours and obtain a superfluous amount of Christmas gifts at pretty amazing prices. However, that's just rediculous! I'm sure This Guy won't be compaining when I open my (highly secrective) gifts on the 25th. What may be even more incredible is the fact that following a nap we went out again and did even more shopping (some at the same stores that she had previously visited). It was fun. The deals were good. My point is this-- 4 AM is the middle of the night (technically later than that, but you get the point). Why was a store open at 4 am? What could possibly be the reason to open doors that early? And why in God's good name was there a line of people waiting to get inside? Why not just open normally at 8 or even 9? How many questions can I ask continuously? Why can't you just buy your stuff the week before (it used to be the day before) Christmas like me?

I'd like to suggest changing the crazy sales from crazy hours to simply marginal sales for longer periods of time and normal store hours-- it'll make more people happy. Now, who stole my Barry Manilow Christmas CD??

So that's why...

I was blindsided in the conference room. I was clearly intimidating to them. I briefly saw a finger, of which I thought only the beginning of a wave. Then the next thing I knew our secretary, all of her 5 ft 4 in. frame weighing less than 115, knocked me on my ass. When I got up I was engaged by someone and then our IT guy took out my legs (clearly a crack back) but I saw no flags.

Okay, this didn't actually happen, but it could have. It would make Terry Tate look like a joke. I'm too lazy to make a link, so you'll have to look that one up on YOUTUBE if you can't remember, yet another humorous superbowl commercial. Yes, that should be capitalized in some way, but that's only if you truly care about the NFL. I simply don't. Sure, it's fun to talk about at work on Tuesday and Wednesday, and soon Friday (they play too many days of the week).

Anyway, I don't really have much to say. However, I'm going to waste your time anyway. Afterall, you've already read this much. You'll notice that we haven't had any news updates in awhile. That's because our good friend, Paul Harvey, has been off. I'm going to assume that he's not ill (although is pretty old) and just taking time off for the Holiday. It's not that I don't like Gil Gross (his fill-in), he's just not Paul Harvey. Not sure why we haven't had any other segments, we must need a new producer. Any takers? Ok, I'll let you go now. Have a happy Thanksgiving, and more importantly an enjoyable Black Friday. I'll be sleeping. Good day.

It's Not Nice to Point

So, I was watching a little bit of the "No Fun League" over the weekend. I know, but promise me, it was seriously just a little bit... only 5 minutes or so. Anyway, I noticed something during the Giants/Lions game. Eli Manning sure does point a lot when he is at the line of scrimmage. And then I remembered the Patriots/Colts game a few weeks ago. It wasn't only the quarterbacks that did all the pointing. I mean, at the line of scrimmage, everybody was pointing everywhere. There was more finger pointing in that game then on a typical day in session on Capital Hill.

So, all three of these teams that I mentioned are pretty successful this season. Which leads us at This and That in the Morning to one conclusion. The more finger pointing your team does, the more you will win. Maybe that's why the Eagles suck so much this year. They aren't using their digits to the best of their ability.

This also fits in with our earlier posts about doing what your favorite NFL players do. The next time you walk into a conference room, start pointing at the people across the table from you. Tell your colleauges which people you consider the most dangerous in the meeting. Also, finger pointing isn't as intimidating unless you yell at your colleauges as well. Here's an example, "This guy looks like a hell of a negotiator... make sure you chop block him before he gets to our main guy." (This done while pointing at him, of course).

Try it out at the next meeting and let us know how it goes.

And remember, it may not be nice to point, but if it means preventing being sacked during a meeting, then it's ok in my book.

Re: It's Not Even Thanksgiving Yet, You A*%hole

Wow, Nov. 13th and you've already listened to a Christmas CD. I'm going to assume it's the first Christmas as a father thing that you have going on. I will say you probably have too much time on your hands if you've watched White Christmas. However, I'm not one to suppress people's freedom's, so if you want to play Christmas music in April, I'm ok with that. You do have to admit, that's a pretty funny note to leave on someone's porch. It's probably going a little too far in destroying the decorations, but yet again, kinda funny if it didn't happen to you.

I'm also a big fan of Christmas, but it's not the same as you grow older. What I'm not a big fan of is change, that is when it comes to a change in tradition. Christmas has changed. Stores are starting Holiday Sales (notice the date of the article) earlier and earlier. Christmas Day, which used to be a day of presents, football, and food, is now a day of presents, football, food, and travel (usually shuttling between my family and my wife's). Maybe I just don't like traveling. The only plus to driving on Christmas Day is that there aren't many people on the highways.

For me, it just won't ever be Christmas before Thanksgiving. I won't watch those movies or listen to that music until after the best feast of the year. I still won't shop until it's mid-December. I may not be able to control the family traditions of Christmas, but I can still have my own. So until after that tryptophan kicks in, it's not Christmas. The tree won't go up before Dec. 5th, the lights won't be put up until probably the coldest day of the year. But that's just me, enjoy your holiday bliss, and goodluck finding space to store all that junk great stuff your kid's gonna get for the first Christmas.

It's Not Even Thanksgiving Yet, You A*%hole

So, a local tv station reported that was the note left on a guy's front porch after somebody completely destroyed their Christmas Decorations.

The station had a soundbyte from the cops about how horrible this crime was and even Santa chimed in on how naughty those people are being. (Full Disclosure: my wife is a reporter at previously mentioned station... not that it really matters, but I always wanted to do a full disclosure thing)

So, it got me thinking. I used to think that Christmas came way too early every year and it was just those "greedy" capitalist pigs taking over a very sacred holiday. (Think the Charlie Brown Christmas Special) But something this year has changed for me. I don't know if it's because I'm now a Dad or just because I just really love Christmas. But this year, I've already popped in the Christmas CD in the car, and hell I'm man enough to admit it. I watched "White Christmas" earlier today. I am in the Christmas spirit and I don't care who hears it.

My feeling is that the world can be a bad enough place and can it really hurt to spread a little more Christmas cheer a few weeks early? And before all you Holy Rollers get up in my rosy cheeks. I do realize that Jesus is the Reason for the Season. And, if I remember my Sunday School teacher well enough, Jesus was all about spreading love and kindness throughout the world. So, take that Jerry Falwell (oh wait, he's dead... crap).

Anyway, I want to know what our listeners... I mean readers think and especially This Guy.

Do we need a little Christmas on November 13th?

And if we do... I will guarantee you it wil be the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapped danced with Danny F%&ing Kay.

What does one hour get you?

Ok, so That Guy got me thinking, and I think I felt that he may have presented me with a challenge. The question is, can This Guy do all 10 of his suggestions? When I ask myself a question, I also usually answer it (not necessarily out loud, but sometimes). I've decided that not only can I attempt all 10 of these suggestions, but I can actually do them all while watching tv. Naturally we'll take a look at them one by one.

1. Who's to say this isn't already happening? The real question is, volume up or down?


2. Probably a good idea and as to not be a complete alcoholic-- maybe Mrs. This Guy will join me (which would obviously lead to more #1).


3. As long as it's not busy at the alley I assume the lane next to me will have a tv. (I'm only averaging 125, maybe I should practice more)


4. I suppose I could look it up on ebay.


5. After further thought, this probably isn't going to happen


6. Jimmie (yes, that's how he spells it) seemed pretty busy, but he's only a phonecall away.


7. The cat loves TV (she also enjoys going behind the TV, what's up with that?)


8. Constantly on my mind (NOTE TO THAT GUY: getting readers would help)


9. Okay with 100 hours of DVR time minus Planet Earth, various movies that include but are not limited to-- Wedding Crashers, The Holiday, and Click--, the week and a half of Mrs. This Guy's soaps, I'm dealing with about 47 hours of space left, so I could throw in a little of THIS and THAT


10. First, see #1, then realize that begging asking too often takes all the joy out of being rejected over and over again.

The ultimate challenge-- in one hour do all 10. Now, that would be one hell of an hour. I'd be impressed even if 2-9 were skipped.

Just One Hour

Wow, This Guy does watch quite a bit of TV. But don't we all these days. Oh and yes... TIVO (or whatever iteration you may own) is definitely a life changer and actually probably could save This Guy about and hour out of his 15.5 hours a week, if he worked it right and "timeshifted". Sounds more like Dr. Who than watching tv.

Anyway, I still think 15.5 hours a week may be a little much. Like he said, that doesn't even include sports which has to be at least 7 or 8 hours each weekend.

So, here's a few suggestions of what This Guy could be doing if he cut out just one hour of that 15.5 a week. I mean, "Bionic Woman". There has to be a few things better than that.

1. Sex (I know This Guy is married and this isn't probably much of an option, but hey it's still a suggestion. I won't even comment about how it probably wouldn't take an hour)
2. Drinking Beer (sure you could probably do this while watching tv. And with some of This Guy's show selections, I would recomend it. But beer drinking could be it's own activity)
3. Bowling (could be tied into #2)
4. Playing Parchesi (see previous posts)
5. Work around the house (This Guy is a homeowner for goodness sakes)
6. Talking to your friendly siding salesman (I won't even comment about how this will take MUCH longer than just an hour)
7. Playing with his cat (She's pretty cute after all)
8. Working to make "This and That in the Morning" the best radio show/blog ever
9. Figuring out how many shows you could tivo/DVR to add even more hours of tv viewing into your week.
10. Sex (It doesn't hurt to beg.... I mean ask a second time)

So, there you go, This Guy. I hope some of the suggestions help.

Remember they don't call it the BOOB TUBE for nothing.

News

Paul Harvey News
Courtesy of ABCNews

Too much TV?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. My wife and I watch a lot of TV, and I mean A LOT. So, I'll break it down for you by day of the week. It's up to you to let me know if it's too much. I probably won't change my viewing habits, but I'll at least look at your thoughts. So taking the normal ratings week of Monday through Sunday here is what we watch and if we watch it live or use the greatest invention of the 2000s (some would say the 21st century, I prefer simpler, funnier terms). This list does not include the soap opera my wife DVRs every day.

Mondays:
8:00
8:30
9:00
9:30- DVR
9:30- DVR (technically this records at 1:30 the next morning, but this is the original timeslot for the show
10:30

Tuesdays
8:00
9:00

Wednesdays
8:00
8:00-DVR
9:00
9:00-DVR
10:00

Thursdays
9:00
10:00- DVR

Fridays
9:00
10:00

Saturdays
Nothing

Sundays
9:00

What did you think I was going to make it easy for you and tell you what I watched? You'll have to do the work to see the actual show. I've also highlighted what shows I watch only because my wife wants to, it's surprisingly little in the grand scheme of things.

So here is the breakdown by network:

ABC- 5
NBC- 5
CBS- 4
FOX- 1
CW- 1
HGTV- 2

18 shows or 15.5 hours of TV a week. Of course that doesn't include any sporting events. So you tell me, is that too much?

Goodbye Bob

As a tribute to the late Robert Goulet, enjoy one of the funniest commercials from last year's Super Bowl (wait, do I owe the NFL money now that I blogged the words Super Bowl--damn it I did it again.)

Standby for News!

Paul Harvey News
Courtesy of ABCNews

TMI? Yeah, TMI.

Wow, I'm not sure what to say. I've known about That Guy's hatred of the 8:30 first pitch. I completely agree. It's a shame that the owners and players and MLB executives have all become whores. They take the money and don't really care what they have to do to get it. It's primetime and if they can make money on the tv deal, they will (at the expense of losing the youngest generation of fans).

The reason I'm at a loss for words is the last statement. I really didn't need to know that. Life is hard...that's all you had to say man, really it was.

As a disclaimer, I also feel it necessary to state the fact that I am happy with life. I just choose to let my displeasure and fault-finding tendencies show themselves more than my joyful side. It's not nice to accuse, even if you're doing it to invoke a response. It hurts man, it hurts.

I Can't Believe What I Just Heard

Oh, and a little P.S. to my last post. Is it just me, or is Fox finally getting it when it comes to broadcasting baseball. Ok, let's forget about my-head-is-to-big-to-fit-in-this-pressbox Joe Buck. Or his broadcast partner (who's head might literally be too big to fit in the pressbox) who just talks all the time about pratically nothing. But, I have been very impressed with the much more appropriate World Series music during those special video montages coming back from break. Don't get me wrong... I love the rock-and-roll like the next guy and I think it fits in for the World Series as well. But it's nice to mix in the more traditional stuff sometimes. I keep expecting Roy Hobbs to hit one into the lights.

So, there's a Cheer to go with my previous Jeer.

And yes, I am the best there ever was!

All Night Long

Maybe that's the problem with America these days... not enough Parcheesi being played.

Ok, so it took me a few days to really figure out what's bugging me. I'm not like This Guy. I am pretty much happy with how life is. But everybody has something to bitch about every once in a while, right? So, here goes with me.

It is 10:06 p.m. on the East Coast and Game 2 of the 2007 World Series is only in the bottom of the fifth inning. If it continues to be a pitcher's duel (thank goodness for that, by the way), the game should get over around 11:30. Now, I know I don't have a job. But my little one still gets me up pretty early. I also know that this has been talked about for a long time, but it's finally time to do something about it. Start the damn games earlier! As each year goes by the game of baseball is losing young fans to football and other rediculous sports that you don't have to think when you watch them.

Ok, so that wasn't very eloquent, but that surely has been bugging me lately.

Remember, life is hard, but so am I.

News

Paul Harvey News
Courtesy of ABCNews